amazing things

So most people know that my wife and I are going to Mexico to help build an orphanage. On April 8th we are doing a fundraiser called the art and soul cafe. My wife and I were trying to plan parts of it and my wife said we should have a $40 float. I deeply protested this, I told her that we may cramped for space already and we would have no room to parade a float around the room. She said I didn't understand what I was talking about but I wouldn't have any of it. Also if we were going to have a float is should be nice and not a cheap $40 one. Spending only $40 on a float would be a waste of money I think. Finally after alot of explaining,a few diagrams, and a 30 minute powerpoint presentation I finally understood what she was getting at. Katie if you read this I just want you to know that I am still opposed to the float idea but I still love you. Boo yeah!

So it's that time of year again, it's tax time again. Boo yeah. Many of you are wondering why I'm so excited, well the answer is quite obvious. I'm excited because I get to do math. Pencils, erasers, calculators, and math books get me very excited! I am a big fan of formula's, long division, and calculus, what better way to spend a Friday morning. Alot of you may be having some trouble doing your taxes because you're not a mathimatical wizard like me. Here's a few tips:

1. Before you start put on glasses, not only will you look smarter, you'll feel smarter. If is scientifically proven people with glasses are much smarter than people without.

2. Wear a watch with a calculator on it. Looking awesome while doing your taxes makes you feel good.

3. Play some nice background music. I recommend Celine Dion, Nelly, or Clay Aiken.

4. Prepare to party because doing taxes rocks!

I am looking forward to heaven. One of the things that is on my heavenly wish list is a new colon. Or if there was some system where the colon was cut out that would be good too. Eating would be cool but if we could skip the whole pooing part I would be down with that. Pooing is quite unproductive, if I spend an average of 5 minutes pooing a day if I live to be seventy, I will have spent 88 days pooing. Anyways, I am quite thankful my colon has been a good boy lately. Yogurt has been especially helpful, I would recomend everyone eat some yogurt today as it helps replenish the good bacteria in the colon. I basically feel that life is all about relationships, relationships with colons. We as a society must start treating our colons better. I am calling this new quest colonrevoulution. Who is with me?

What is the modern symbol of power in this day and age? the most obvious answer is the calculator watch. I found this out the other day when a friend asked me, "Aaron how does one become awesome?". I chuckled to myself and then answered, "Young padewon, the key to awesomeness is the calculator watch. Math is apparently the coolest so it just makes sense that humans should be wearing watches that make math problems easier. Now don't get me wrong, my first choice is the scientific calculator which combines math and science, I also like graphing calculators but alas they are heavier which made my arms too buff. My watch also functions as a remote control which means when I walk into the living room I don't have to take those extra steps to grab those bulky remotes which is very convienent. When I wear this watch I just feel better about myself. When I have a bad day I know I can come home and do math on my watch and there is just a very reassuring feeling about that. umm bye