amazing things

As a consequence of eating the apple (not really an apple, but probably) Eve was punished with painful childbirth and Adam with hard work. This pattern was supposed to continue for all people. Too bad it no longer applies, with epidurals women no longer need to feel the full pain of childbirth and they work just as hard as men once their off mat leave. In many cases men stay home now and look after the kids.

Dear faithful readers of amazing things,
So about a month ago, while I was at work, someone wished me a Happy New Year. I was disgusted and offended. How can people just assume that I celebrate New Years day. I wanted to vomit but I managed to squeek out a few words, "Excuse me jerkface, don't impose your racist, ethnocentric views on me. I have individual rights and you can't make assumptions about my culture just by looking at me". For those of you who get wished a happy new year in about a months time, please spit in their face for me.

In my rollercoaster quest for conservative nirvana I have decided to give up the Simpsons. Bart gives me ideas to do bad things, things that are not conservative. One time I told someone to 'eat my shorts’; I also said 'aye carumba'. These are not nice things to say. I also feel more rebellious as I watch Bart. Bart embodies selfishness as he is a character who just lives for himself. For all you parents out there let's ban our kids and ourselves from watching the Simpsons again. Remember the 80's and early 90's when we did this. We've gotten complacent and lazy. We need to protect ourselves and the children who are the future of this world from Bart.

I've been reading through Revelation and it is quite a fascinating book. Many people don't bother reading because they think it is depressing. Words like apocalypse, Armageddon, hell, lake of burning sulfur and whores are not things that people like to read about. However, not only does Christ come back but Revelation talks about the seven seals. Honestly, who doesn’t love seals? They are so cute and when you see them you feel like giving them a great big hug. Man am I in a good mood right now and I owe it all to thinking about but cuddly seals and wearing glasses. Peace.

Happy New Year blog readers! I have been meaning to post this picture for a long time now. At school the grade 3 class was dressing up as people from other cultures. One girl dressed up as someone from Japan and wore a kimono. Some other kids wore some traditional East Indian clothes. The boy who dressed up as the United States came as a clown. Really, what else do I have to say?

Hello all. Right now I am in a fierce battle. I am not sure if I should embrace unnessary conservatism or just take the middle of the road approach. I still like the idea of evolution which is holding me back from becoming ultraconservative, yet I still wear glasses which makes me ultraconservative. Both paths just have so many good things. I like wearing black pants everyday, never smiling, judging people who speak in tounges, driving slow, making sure my shirts are not to low-cut, telling people what they are doing is wrong, ironing my clothes, yelling, not having time to talk to people because I'm too busy, not ever farting, having a business mans haircut, and not shopping on Sundays. Ultraconservatim has really grown on me. Yet the battle rages on.